Love Hate relationship

the Challenges for Varsity are something that i love and hate i love it because it means that that if you don't make the varsity team at the beginning you still have a chance, and because it assures that when we go up against other schools they are facing only our best, but i hate the fact that it makes me choose between my friends who do I root for and when its all over can i really in good conscience console the loser and congratulate the winner they are always both my teammates deserving equal support but in reality the entire team might be friends of mine (except Kevin) but i still get along better with some than others and i hate playing favorites. I also hate it because if you lose then they entire teams opinion of you will change and not for the better it isn't a drastic change it isn't an insulting change but it is there palpable, noticeable, in the way they all steer clear of the loser for the next few days and how they all avoid talking about the challenge in front of the loser. when everyone knows which of the two is the better fencer from the beginning then no one cares but when the team is uncertain who will win it's make or brake time, and your reputation is on the line.